Discussion Points: Motherhood & Family

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Is Being a Mother Restrictive or Liberating?

Some Christians argue that being a mother is restrictive; others argue that being a mother is liberating.

The feminist writer Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986) wrote in the 1940s about the ways in which motherhood forces a woman to suspend her own interests and personality to take care of her children.
She wrote that women have motherhood forced upon them and it leaves them crushed and unable to develop as individuals while their children are young, and then left empty and without purpose once their children grow up and leave home.

The sociologist Ann Oakley (b.1944) interviewed women and gave their accounts of their lives in their own words, describing how they felt about housework and motherhood.
She concluded that a woman’s feeling that she needs to become a mother is not biological but is entirely the result of socialisation: there is no such thing as a ‘maternal instinct’.

Oakley wrote about the ways in which women feel powerless during childbirth when medical experts (usually men) take over and start treating them as ‘cases’.
She described the frustrations that women feel when they have to stay at home while their children are young.
Many of Oakley’s readers described a sense of relief at realising that other women did not always find motherhood easy.

In Mulieris Dignitatem, Pope John Paul II says that motherhood is a precious and wonderful gift given to women. The love between mother and child is one that is celebrated and seen as a uniquely female act of self-giving.

Mary’s motherhood of Jesus is seen as a model for motherhood.
It is undeniable that the Church has a very positive view of motherhood and would not endorse any negative views of motherhood.
Pope John Paul II argues that being female gives one the possibility of being able to give oneself in a way that no man can, and this ‘extra’ gift of self-giving is part of what it means to be female. It gives women a unique place not just in the Church but in society and the world.

Here are arguments for and against the idea that the concept of family is totally culturally determined.

Liberal Protestants may be inspired by the teaching of Jesus on the Kingdom of God.
Jesus seemed to argue for a more inclusive, non-hierarchical and non-judgemental society.
In particular, Jesus aimed his teaching at the marginalised, including women and those on the fringes of society.
For this reason, they argue that the Church needs to be more flexible in its understanding of family.

Marriage was made legal for homosexual couples in the UK in 2014.
As a consequence, more children nowadays have same-gender parents.
The laws changing in line with cultural change.
These Christians would accept the views of the feminist sociologist Jessie Bernard, who argues that as long as children are loved, feel secure and are provided for, then the structure of the family does not matter.

Conservative Protestants might appeal to St Paul's letter to the Ephesians and argue that the traditional view of the family is what God intended.
The love between a husband and wife should mirror the love between Christ and the Church.
- “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians).
The family has specific gender roles that are timeless not based on culture.